Finding a Creative Outlet for Coping with Infertility

As part of our series on alternative success stories of infertility, we’re sharing a guest post from Elyse Ash. Elyse and her husband, Brad, pooled their talents to find a unique way to process the pain of infertility. Thanks, Elyse, for sharing your story!

Anyone who has gone through infertility knows how tough it can be on a marriage. And not “I-never-get-to-use-the-remote-control” tough…

It took my husband Brad and me two full years to get on the same page regarding our infertility diagnosis and course of action. But before that, there were two years of arguments about finances, crying after sex and discussing the positives and pitfalls of every medical option we faced.

And while we were still traveling, laughing, canoeing and hosting parties, the frenetic, fearful energy of our infertility was always right below the surface. At any given moment I could spontaneously burst into tears. We both lived in constant fear of pregnancy announcements from close friends…me, because I couldn’t hide my heartbreak anymore and Brad, because I couldn’t hide my heartbreak anymore and was prone to public sobbing.

We were stuck in this weird dance. I was mad at the world for not giving me what I wanted. Brad was mad at me for being “ungrateful” and dissatisfied with our already-undeniably-awesome life.

Kind of makes you miss the days of fighting over dirty dishes and taking out the trash.

But then things changed…and pretty quickly, too…

In fact, I can pinpoint the exact moment things started getting better between us…and it wasn’t when we saw a positive pregnancy test. It was when we decided to take the pain, anxiety and fear we were both experiencing individually and turn it into something productive and cathartic that we could do together. It was when we decided to combine our professional skills, collaborate and build something that could really help others. It was when we decided to launch Fruitful Fertility.

Photo by Aaron Lavinsky and Jerry Holt for the Star Tribune

I had the idea for Fruitful in the summer of 2016 after our first round of IVF failed. I was heartbroken, shocked and devastated…but I was also frustrated with how my dearest friends and family struggled to emotionally support me in a meaningful way. To be fair, they tried! Lord knows they tried. But the only people who made me feel better in any tangible way were friends who had BEEN THERE quite literally…who knew the rules of the IVF game and knew which questions to ask. It was then I realized that what I really wanted was a fertility mentor who understood what I was going through but who wasn’t trying to get pregnant anymore. Someone who was already on the other side and could offer me the perspective and wisdom I so desperately lacked.

Brad loved the concept, and as a web developer he got right to work helping me design the Fruitful website and matching process. We needed to create a platform to help best match fertility mentors with mentees based on a series of inputs: location, age, diagnosis, values, interests. We worked late. We pushed each other. We sketched out email flows. We registered for an LLC. We had no idea what we were doing, yet together we created this thing and poured all of our creativity and energy into it. We cared for it…nurtured it…loved it. It wasn’t just like a baby…but it also wasn’t NOT like a baby…

And now? Fruitful is growing! It’s been incredible to see our tiny user base flourish into a real community of fertility warriors; a mix of women and men who’ve been through this battle or are actively going through it. It’s been humbling and rewarding to watch, and it’s brought us together in a way that we never expected. Through this project, we could channel the anxiety and fear we felt around our own story and put it into something helpful and meaningful for others.

On a personal note, things have changed a lot us since we launched Fruitful in April 2017. We had our first Frozen Embryo Transfer in late June 2017, which was successful; we’re now due with our first kiddo in March 2018.

Our next challenge? Pursuing our full-time jobs while continuing to help others through Fruitful and taking care of a baby. And while I’m not quite sure how this will look logistically, I have complete faith that now Brad and I can get through anything.

 

 

 

“Works and Wonders: Art Inspired by the Journey of Infertility” Announces Calendar of Events

Contact: Elizabeth Walker                                FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Phone: 517.262.3662
Email: elizabeth@artofinfertility.org

Works and Wonders: Art Inspired by the Journey of Infertility” Announces Calendar of Events

International Infertility Organization Partners with Utah Infertility Resource Center to Raise Awareness Around Reproductive Loss

Ann Arbor, Mich. – Jan. 16, 2018 – The ART of Infertility, a national arts organization, announces its collaboration with the Utah Infertility Resource Center (UIRC) to present “Works and Wonders: Art Inspired by the Journey of Infertility”, which features a four-week long exhibit, Arches in Perspective: The ART of Infertility in Utah. This infertility-themed art exhibit will display original works created by Utahns, as well as national and international artists, at Art Access Gallery and Urban Arts Gallery in downtown Salt Lake City from February 16th through March 16th, 2018. The exhibit at both locations is free and open to the public.

Over 65,000 people in Utah are living with infertility. In Utah, Camille Hawkins, LCSW founder and executive director of the Utah Infertility Resource Center (UIRC), works to raise awareness and provide support to many diagnosed with the disease. “I learned about The ART of Infertility during a trip to Washington D.C. advocating for family-building legislation to congressional leaders on behalf of Utah’s infertility community. Like me, I was struck how they also drew from their personal experiences with infertility to create a non-profit organization providing support for reproductive loss around the world. Talking to them and learning how the organization travels around organizing and hosting infertility art exhibitions, I knew that my hometown needed to bring this international arts organization to Utah to build community awareness around this family-building health issue.”

In partnership with UIRC, The ART of Infertility is pairing professional artists with infertility patients to collaborate on artwork which will be displayed in Arches in Perspective and then auctioned off during UIRC’s Spring Fundraising Gala, Works and Wonders, on March 16th. The gala will include an art reception with select works, a three-course meal, and a silent auction to raise awareness and funds for infertility support in the greater Utah community.

The ART of Infertility is still accepting infertility-inspired pieces of art for display at the two galleries in downtown Salt Lake City. You do not need to be directly impacted by infertility or reproductive loss to be a contributing artist. Pieces that interpret, reflect, and/or meditate on the experience of challenges to fertility and family-building are welcomed. You can submit these pieces by filling out the form at http://bit.ly/ArtworkUT2018

The ART of Infertility and UIRC are welcoming sponsors and community partners for this event. Current partners include Utah Infertility Resource Center, The ART of Infertility, The Falls Event Center, Urban Arts Gallery, Salt Lake City Arts Council, Art Access, Utah Arts Alliance, EMD Serono, Fruitful Fertility, One More Shot, The Hope for Fertility Foundation, Reproductive Care Center, Utah Division of Arts & Museums, Utah Fertility Center, Baby Quest Foundation, and Waiting For Babies podcast. For more information, contact us at info@artofinfertility.org or call (517) 262-3662.

“Works and Wonders: Art Inspired by the Journey of Infertility” Calendar of Events.

“Art for Infertility Workshop”
Family Building Art Workshop led by professional Artist, Emily Bagley
January 20, 2018
An art therapy workshop where those who struggle with infertility can connect and heal through art, guided by local artist Emily Bagley. The workshop will be held at Art Access, last 4 hours, and include several project options: a mixed media collage, a memory box, or blackout poetry. Attendees will be able to contribute to a community project as well.
Register at: https://uirchealingthroughart.eventbrite.com

“One More Shot”
Film Screening and Panel on the Humanities and Infertility
February 15, 2018
This free event will be held at Urban Arts Gallery and will feature filmmakers Noah Moskin and Maya Grobel as well as others using the arts for infertility expression and awareness.
Reserve your seat at: http://bit.ly/onemoreshotutah

“Arches in Perspective: The ART of Infertility in Utah”
Opening Night Receptions during Salt Lake City Gallery Stroll
February 16, 2018
A free opening night reception will take place at both galleries as part of the Salt Lake City Gallery Stroll.
More information at: http://bit.ly/ArchesUTAH

“Works & Wonders of ART: Creating a Unique Masterpiece”
Closing Night Gala
March 16, 2018
Cocktail reception and artwork viewing hour, silent auction, three-course-meal, and emcee Frankie from 97.1 zht at the Falls Event Center. Tickets, tables, and sponsorships available for purchase at: http://bit.ly/worksandwonders

About The ART of Infertility

The ART of Infertility is a national arts organization. Founded in 2014, Elizabeth Walker and Maria Novotny, Ph.D. curate innovative and emotionally provoking art exhibits to portray the realities, pains and joys of living with IF. We also design engaging curriculums to host art and writing workshops. We plan educational, outreach events. We advocate for infertility rights. Most of all, we provide support for those living in the shadows of infertility. Through art, we break the silence around reproductive grief and push back against common misconceptions. We invite you to join us in our fight to make infertility visible. To learn more, visit http://www.artofinfertility.org/.

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